Damascus

usually I have always been so
 unbelievably appalled by reality
 I have this almost subconscious tendency
to merg it into a puff of nothing
maybe you and i should sit
right about now
because it overwhelms me
like I know
it overwhelms you
I can hardly remember
childhood
not bare to recall
what little i do remember
the reasons behind this
remain unknown
but you know
how and why
i got
to this rather unusual
point.

what is painting going to do
to us
for us
for them
anymore
i thought
living where we lived
at the center
of almost
the majority
of universal distruction
where children die
most
that maybe
someone would like to see a flower
painted
rather peculiarly.

maybe
and I come to this a bit
too late

i can hardly hold
to the edge of ease
without falling in a certain
mild mode
 of dispair
when recalling even
smelling
 the scents of childhood
because
in the vulnerability
of knowing nothing
you are bread
on
w a r
yet
the belief
that is will end.

and you wait
and you wait
this one hasn't ended
another one has started
like intertwining
rotten leaves
falling together]the first one
fresher one
almost hollers with
disbelief
dismay
pleads
the other
with a pat like motion
calm your self
no one is coming


hold me
i have run out of places
to quietly dream.