think of you.

I think of you.
amidst the masses
the hot scatterd
sticky bodies
who all flutter
for my dream
I think of you
when I am smaller than ever
when all
the magnificent
incomprehensible
world
swamps
and vanquishes
me
I step back
to engulf
unhindered
unconquered
then
at once
slapped
with realization
I,
dismissible.
I think of you.
in all the bleached
little
rusted
little
-no big deal-
-get over it-
plunging
pain
that snatches
centuries
out of youth
I think of you
when all of them
so called lovers
and nameless
friends
and worry-less policies
drift
with a whiff
of breeze.
I think of you.
you
before
the fire
of undefined
inaccessible greatness
captures me
I think of you
the stream
of majesty
legendary
your existence
consequently:
easily
naturally obtained,
greatness.

Sufjan.

A secret garden.
And when you run to me in midnight fields
My chapped shell,my fragile sheild
Your golden coat of hair scatters on my sholder.
You laugh at me now.
And i had let you in
The crumble of nonexisting life within
Your father's cold steel gun caresses
My back,my flesh, my kidnys.
But i have a bike , and it has a back seat,
And i have my sheild , so i'll grab you
And your disstressed dress and goldrn tumble of curls
And softly elope, disapear into the infinty of space reflected on our pond.
You could tell me of your thought and opinions.
You could tell me of how idiotic it is to have any.
of why you want to leave unditictedly
Like a whisper, whithout touching or being touched.
A cold forgotten crumble of bones.
But now i am alone.
Now there are my bones untouched.
my silint internal explosions.
And befor you invaded my hous next door.
Befor you scatted all over my back-bycicle seat.
Befor you murderd my secret garden.
It were the emptiness and liflessness, the freezing
Cold alaska within that i feared.
And now you walk away laughing, and i am inflamed
Sit on a deep avalanch, lava hot fire.
But is it the ungrown fruit? Is it my immasculinity?
Maybe you were just a mad, foolish little girl, being constantly raped.
Maybe you just wanted to rape somone too.

the way you look tonight

someday.
I`l hang onto you`r arm,
and  I`ll have my girlish charm,
and it will be the way I look tonight.
someday
 our foolish washed out hearts
 my melancholia falling apart
for the way you look tonight
someday
 when I am awfully low,
when every spit of every shit of every parasite acuumilait on our sholders
 when every corner of every street, gets a bit colder
I will feel a glow
just thinking of you
and the way you look tonight.
someday
in our stupid teenage minds
the world we hide behind
will reduce to specs just thinking of you
and the way you look tonight
someday
when the wars arise
epidemics of goodbyes
I will rest assured just thinking of you
and the way you look tonight
someday
the bleach of wasted life,
 the comfort of a sharper knife
 embalms just thinking of you,
 and the way you look tonight.
 someday
with my ugliness
and my plain old dress
you`ll say "oh but you`r lovely
with you`r smile so warm
and you`r cheek so soft
there is nothing for me
but to love you
and the way you look tonight"