I look around...

"I`l look around, until I`v found, someone who laughed like you"1

-Madeleine Peyroux 2

Yes, its that French singer`s song that constantly plays in my head as the remnants of you sparkles in my heart.3

I dont mean to be too poetic, but someone once said, under the effect of love, we all become poets.4

I walk up to my record player, and play that song over and over again, I dress my self, in my tailored navy blue dress, I tried to hold my self together, stay the same Emily that I was before you, slowly slowly, I seemed to fail at that, and lose bits of my self,tell I was completely broken down to the empty cavity that I am.5

I still however, religiously held on to my last remaining habit, the last shred that kept my sense of identity, my way of dressing up, before you,I use to dress up so uniquely, like the way women did back in the 40s, i would wear a hat,and a fitted dress, and heels, and sometimes even gloves, only to git a cup of coffee.6

I await the moment every day, were I git to look at my mirror and smear my lips with rouge, the moment where I git to pick my outfit of the day, because these little ritual are my only legacy of my old self, the only things that make me feel independent and not in as much need and obsession of you.7

that song, describes fully what I do next, I hunt the streets of this bright city, for any thing and any one who is you,or who looks, laughs,like you.8

only because in that, i restore a bit of you, a bit of life.9

all the men stare at me, think of me as the pretty,crazy lady running around looking for someone, or that is at least.10

our story is quite simple, no complications, no twists, the old fashioned way, we fell in love, you fell out of love, and left me stuck, lost, and in complete confusion and desperation.11

years pass by, and time heals nothing.12

I still play that song, and look for people like you.