ungodly hour..

I am standing out side your old rotten door, the door which i use to live behind, I am on my knees, begging you to let me in, please let me in, I shout, the tears start to slowly make there way to my eyes, to my surprise.1

I dont understand what happened to make you so heartless mom, I know he beat you, I know he mercilessly and endlessly raped you, but mother I am here, I still love you, I still respect you and hold a place for you in my heart, I always did right from the start.2

yes, I was devastated when you let him do it, when you stood back and just told me to silently take it, that if i didnt, he would take the house, that we would be homeless, I know.3

but mother, I would rather be homeless, then be without you, he hurt me, you hurt me,but you love me, he dosent.4

I dont care if hes my father, its just D.n.a, he dosnt.5

I look like him, I wanna rip my face off.6

mother, remember? remember when we were sitting on the porch, watching the sky slowly turn from baby blue to violent red, to mysterious dark navy, remember when he stormed in, when we had to hold our noses so we wouldent smell him?7

remember how he looked at you and said" your gitting old" then turned at me and said " young and fresh, just how I like`em" and he came closer to me, I could see the tears in your eyes, mother, tears dont stop him, stop crying.8

remember when I pulled the gun out of my pocket, remember how shout him? do you remember that? cause I sure do.9

remember how I threw his stinky body down the river?10

remember how you said I am not your daughter anymore, remember that ungodly hour?11

well mother that was your ungodly hour,that was my redeeming hour, that was my victorious hour.12

now mother please, open the door.13