cabaret

I let my sight sail across all that brings pleasure to a man.
she gently clicks her heals  upon the newly shined stage, her burgundy lips, the the flame of her cigarettes  , and the sent, oh the sent of her.
I lay back in my chair, sorrow within, drink in hand, and I am prepared.

she spreads her arm, her fingertips caress the microphone, and she clutches it. she breaths into it, smooth balming melody behind her, her husky voice begins, and I drown.

"my baby, said he gonna leave
in the middle of may
and I am on my knees
every night and day
beggin god, to bring him back
I cry and I cry and I pray"

I clear my throat, such an ugly soul I have, I want to rip that song apart.
but I am too much in love, I cling to old memories, which I vividly dimly see anymore, it terrifies me...

springs buds, springs violets, springs Daisies, and I stare, I run to the cafe across the street, my 18 year old`s body tight and firm, I sit at the chair by the table and your there, clinging to your coffee mug, your there, faintly smiling, your there, caressing the strand of your hair, your quietly there, and I stare.

but I can barely see you, I know your there, I can smell you, I can feel that tornado within, but I cant see you!, I can see the mug in your hands, I can see everything, but I cant see your face, why cant I see your face!

I gasp for air and difficultly pull my figure of the bed, I am 60 again, its hard to breath again, and I still cant recall your face, what terrified me has come, I cant remember how your face looks like....

I put my suit on, and I walk to the cabaret and I lay back in my chair, sorrow within, drink in hand, I am prepared.

she sings, I melt.

my babe left me, and I forgot her face.