I know (thoughts)

what do I know about?

I know about loving something, loving things that devastatingly may not love me back. I know about standing and pathetically hoping I know about self loathing and paranoia, and I most of all know how to craft a mask above them all.

I know about being a being that is hardly a being. I know about having absolutely nothing within, I know about being a cowered, and I know about being different.

I know about being burdened, I hardly remember ever feeling young.

I donot know what losing a loved one feels like, I donot know what wanting to die feels like, I donot now many things.

but I know words, and I know I love them deeply I know I have hoped for so long to make mine known.

I know the chances of them being known, and it gives me trouble breathing.

I know the men and women I admire, I know they donot know that my feet walk upon this ground, I know I am told they were me at some point, my issue is my not knowing if I will ever be them.

I know I hope restlessly, I now I am made up, built from scratch from nothing but tears and hope.

and I am not so sure that I can make it.

I know that i am in helpless love with eyes wide closed, and colors within, beasts tamed, and a boiling pot, words and fingertips, and glory, and hours of writing, tell my feet are numb and my battery is dead.

I know I haven come close to the best I could do.