the symmetry of ease.

I look at my mother and father
at the middle of their ages
they are so much like me
yet they have something
I would really like to have
the symmetry
of ease.

I spend most of my time
whatever of it I can spare
trying to unravel things
quit convinced
that there is massive
heavy loading unencessity of things to
dig through
on anything
of value
people
like to think
that things -and maybe hence comes
the tradition
of putting
dirt
on deceits
loved ones- are safest
when buried.

I heard my father
at 18
liked to read vigorously
he read on the radio
and I suppose
people liked to hear
novels read out loud
with the push of
stuttered
 passion
of an
'on the cliff of
teen'
rough
in his words
and self reflection
novels turned
into live
fire like
poetry


and I heard
that my mother
with her logic
was easy going
but more than anything
compassionate
and wondering
and so unmoved by
whatever is or
may be
'society'

I dont really
truly know
how my parents were
a 18
how they are
the statues of
goodness and graciousness and
human building blocks
of my dreams

but I
where I am today
have spent the last 18 years
of my life
trying to block,
shed away
most
if not
all
of the things
I'v been
'taught'
to be.