Hello darkness, my old friend

I retreat to you, as I usually do, we have become friends over the years, for through out all the times that I have disappointed my self, and have been disappointed by others, you, however, never seemed to.

always there, for me to withdraw into.

when my mother left, when I was 7 years old, is when I discovers you.

when my melon collie took over, oh how you were loyal then!

how you strangely consoled me, with the idea that I am not alone, that my solitude isnt really solitude, you were there, just staring at me, with your large soul sucking dark eyes.

terrified, yet interested, I just dived deeper into you, darkness, till we became one.

I never had to retreat to you no longer, you were always there , traveling with me where ever I went , right at my side, attaching me when least expected.

a strange relationship we had, I hated you, I hated how much pain you inflicted on me, yet I some how, strangely respected you, and trusted you, for when I was at my utter state of confusion I was always sure of one thing , you were always going to be there.

years later I realized, that it is the definition of insanity to give in to ones demons, and our being allies, my considering you a friend, rather than something to avoid, was only welcoming you and if I kept it up, you were never to leave.

I had to make it clear to you, and that is by shunning you away, fighting you, whenever I felt you take over me.

I had to look the other way, a way I have never looked at, it was strange to look at the bright side, I was never use to it, it was so bright, it hurt my eyes.

I slowly slowly, started feeling this addiction, this force, this craving to always look at the bright side, I got hooked on the high I felt whenever I saw all that is beautiful in my life, when i felt the lightness it came with.

but as usual, you couldnt stay away dear old friend now could you?

my wife, well, my fiancée had a terrible accidents at our wedding day, and as usual, from the amount of people that tried to comfort me, it was only you whom I felt completely comfortable with dear darkness, comfortable with my knowledge of your old ways of crawling up on me and consuming my last bits of light.

I am better now though, I cannot say I am back to my hippie days, I can only say that you no longer travel by my side, your merely a trick I have up my sleeve, though your not really a trick, since most of the time YOU trick ME.

dont you?